


Never a Blue Flame

by puss_nd_boots



Series: Stargazer [9]
Category: Alice Nine
Genre: Begging, M/M, Oral Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:19:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puss_nd_boots/pseuds/puss_nd_boots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the set of the Blue Flame video, the subject matter strikes too close to home for comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never a Blue Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2011, around the time of the Blue Flame single's release (before I had actually had a chance to see the making-of doc). The fic includes complete speculation on Saga's inspiration for the Blue Flame video concept - the video had been done shortly after the breakup of Kagrra, and all the Alice Nine members had been in attendance at the final live.

The concept of the video, like the concept of so much else they'd done lately, had been Saga's. He'd proven himself to be quite the mad genius as of late, coming up with moments of brilliance between the drunken guitar-buying, falling asleep in taxicab trunks and finding new and unusual locations to do the wild thing with his boyfriend. (There probably wasn't an inch of Tora's apartment, or a piece of furniture, that was unchristened. Including the kitchen counter, with Saga bent over and leaning on the cutting board).

Saga's inspiration (for the video, not the creative places to have sex) had actually been an incident that seemed only mildly sad in retrospective, compared to the great tragedies they had experienced, but at the time, had weighed heavily on their hearts. This was the breakup of longtime PSC band Kagrra. The members of the two groups had known each other for years - Alice Nine had opened for Kagrra shortly after signing with PSC, and the older group had taken the younger one under its wing, teaching them the ins and outs of being a PSC band.

It felt like Kagrra had been there forever, and would be there forever. Which is why it came as such a shock when they announced they were "demising" the group. It didn't sink in for Alice Nine until they all attended the final live together, and then sat around the afterparty, looks of gloom on their faces - much like everyone else in the room.

At some point, Saga said, quietly, "What if that happened to us? What if Alice Nine suddenly fell apart the way Kagrra did?"

Nobody wanted to think about it. They were too dependant on the family atmosphere, the support structure of the band - especially now that it contained two committed romantic couples. Nao replied that he'd probably go back to having problems with anger, like he did when he was younger. Tora said he'd just sink into depression and wander around aimlessly. Hiroto . . . didn't answer. It was so unthinkable he couldn't get his brain to process it.

And Shou replied, simply, "I don't think I'd want to live without this band."

The subject matter was dropped, but the seed had been planted in Saga's brain. And he began to spin it into a video scenario where each of them enacted what they'd be if the band broke up. For Hiroto, he used an answer he'd given when Saga had asked him, "What would you have done if Shou hadn't told you he loved you?" Hiroto had replied, "I'd probably end up having a bunch of meaningless affairs. Maybe even heavy boozing and drugs."

And drugs were what Saga envisioned for himself. Because for all his zany antics, he knew that this band had been his salvation from far, far worse.

So it came to pass a couple of months later that they were on this soundstage at the end of a hard days' filming, miming performing the song and acting out their worst-case scenarios - Hiroto's involving a near-naked female model, since PSC kept well-hidden what its musicians' true preferences were (had to maintain the fangirl fantasy that her favorite member could be her Prince Charming).

Shou's part was the last to be filmed, and he was between takes of rolling around on the bed in a gloomy bedroom, gazing longingly at the pendant in his hand that symbolized the band's lost unity. He'd already filmed the ending of the "A" version of the video, where he slumped over, limp, his character seemingly having committed suicide.

It was all far more draining then one would think it was, especially when one took into consideration the emotional toll on the band. So Shou was very glad when Hiroto walked across the soundstage and sat next to him on the bed.

"Hi," he said, putting his hand on top of Shou's and rubbing it. In this setting, they could express their feelings for each other openly - after all, the crew were all PSC insiders who knew the truth about their relationship. "How are you holding up?"

Shou leaned against Hiroto heavily, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Mmm, warmth. For some reason, the emotionally chilly atmosphere of this video made the whole studio seem cold, even with the lights. His nose detected a woman's perfume among the familiar scent of smoke and peaches - a reminder that Hiroto had been close to someone else in front of the cameras.

No matter. It was only for the video. It wasn't as if Shou was jealous - although if he had been paired with a beautiful young man, that would have been another matter.

"Tired," Shou said. "Going to need a nap after this is over. Never knew acting like a suicidal goth could be this exhausting."

Hiroto ran his fingers across the top of the hoodie Shou was wearing for the shoot, making sure not to mess up either his carefully-sprayed hair or carefully-applied makeup. "Your place?" he said. They'd slept at Hiroto's the night before - they tended to switch residences back and forth. Mogu was on the set with his master, and Hiroto had his portable doggie bed and travel bag with him - they were trying to get the dog used to being around Shou's cats, anyway.

Shou nodded. "Nap as soon as we get back. Shower and dinner after." It was looking like an order-in night - a ramen run was out of the question, and neither of them would feel like cooking after this.

Hiroto leaned his head against the hand resting on Shou's hoodie. Since he was done shooting himself, he didn't have to worry about his makeup - but did have to worry about screwing up Shou's costume. "I never want to live this for real," he said. "The loneliness, the emptiness, the idea of sleeping with someone just for physical sensation, even if your heart feels nothing . . ." It had been painful for him, getting into character mentally for this shoot. Those tears he'd shed while holding the pendant had been real. The very worst part had been envisioning a life without Shou.

"You won't, love," Shou said, reaching out to clasp Hiroto's other hand. "We're never going to leave each other. We need each other too much. That goes for both you and me, and the band as a whole. I don't know what happened with Kagrra" - the other band hadn't said anything to Alice Nine about their reasons for splitting, after all - "but it isn't going to happen here. We've been through too much together."

Hiroto was quiet. They'd been through some tough challenges, all right - like the horrible period where they didn't know if Tora would be able to play guitar anymore. They'd been through good times, too - like Hiroto's coming-of-age, celebrated the winter after he turned 20 (according to Japanese tradition) with a raucous party filled with drunken J-rockers. The climax of the evening had been Tora dropping his cell phone in a mud puddle in front of the club, and then just standing there laughing at it for about 20 minutes.

"I'm not going anywhere," Shou said. "And neither is anyone else." He squeezed his lover's hand, and felt Hiroto squeeze back . . .

And then, they were both aware of a pair of eyes on them. They looked up, and there was the model from Hiroto's part of the shoot, a yukata on over her almost-non-costume, staring at the two of them with her eyes as wide as her mouth.

Ooops. There was one person on the set who didn't know about their relationship.

"Um, hi," Hiroto said, blushing a little. "I guess you're wondering . . ."

Meanwhile, Saga ambled over from where he'd been talking to the director (this video was his concept, after all). He saw an opportunity. He hadn't been able to flirt with the model on the Gemini shoot, as she spoke no Japanese and Saga spoke no English except for curse words. This one, though, seemed to know at least some of their language.

He might have been loyal to his lover, but he was also a believer in the concept that a little fun flirting was harmless.

"Your costar is taken, you know," he said, sidling up to the woman. "Those two have been together for months. I'm afraid he can't appreciate the beauty of a woman like you . . ." He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in toward her. "Unlike me."

The model looked from Hiroto and Shou to Saga. She had to admit to disappointment - she found her costar very beautiful and sexy, and was entertaining some hopes of being asked out to dinner after the shoot. "He's gay?"

"As the day is long," Saga said with mock gravity, turning flirtatious eyes on the woman. "I, on the other hand . . ."

". . . am the same way," Tora finished for him, coming over and putting a hand on Saga's shoulder. "He's taken too, you know. I'm his boyfriend."

"Hey!" Saga said, his head snapping around toward Tora.

"Sorry, but I need to protect what's mine," Tora said, calmly, starting to lead Saga away.

"I was just flirting!" Saga said, his voice fading away as Tora propelled him across the room. "I didn't mean anything! Tora!"

The woman sighed. So her friends were right when they warned her that most J-rockers were more interested in each other than in any woman, no matter how pretty she might be. Oh, well. At least looking at them wrapped up in each other was easy on the eyes.

* * *  
Shou was deep in slumber, still wearing the street clothes he'd worn to the studio that morning and changed back into after the shoot. Fortunately, PSC had gotten a van to round the members up and take them home, because neither he nor Hiroto had been in any shape to drive without falling asleep at the wheel. He'd leaned heavily against Hiroto when they were in the elevator, and the two of them got Mogu settled in, then walked straight to his bedroom, flopped on the bed and passed out for several hours.

Eventually, he stirred, mumbling a little. He raised his head, blinking. He was alone in the bed . . . and there was the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. So, Hiroto was already in the shower, washing away the residue of the video shoot - the hairspray and the makeup and the perfume.

Shou sat up, stretching. What a contrast to the set he'd just come from, the dark alternate reality. The bedroom wasn't cold and dark and lonely - even with the dim, rose-colored glow of the nightlamp, it still felt bright.

And then, there was the small matter of who was in the shower. Well, Shou needed a shower after a video shoot too, didn't he? He hopped off the mattress and began shedding his clothing.

Hiroto wasn't aware that Shou had woken up - he was just concentrating on washing, blinking as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and it ran down and stung his eyes. And so, when the pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, he jumped.

"Just me, love," Shou said, pulling Hiroto's naked body against his own. "No home invasion." He imagined what would happen if the Nico Nico cameras suddenly burst in, like Saga's home had been invaded last year. Well, the fangirls would certainly be happy, although PSC would probably go into apoplexy.

Hiroto let out a deep sigh and rinsed the last of the suds from his head. "Just warn me before you do that, okay?"

"What fun would that be?" Shou wasn't budging. In fact, the only things moving were his hands, which were starting to roam over his lover's body. "There's nothing wrong with a surprise now and then."

"There's a surprise, and then there's . . . there's . . ." Okay, he meant to say "a heart attack," but the words weren't coming. Not when one of Shou's hands was moving upward, sliding over his chest, the fingers lightly teasing a nipple, and the other one was moving downward, caressing his stomach, the fingers oh-so-slowly moving below his navel . . .

He was sunk. Of course. Shou always knew exactly how to turn him on, how to grab his interest and hold it and tease him until he wanted to scream. There was only one way to respond to this, of course, and that was to turn around in his arms, catch him in a fierce embrace and press their lips together.

Which, of course, was exactly what Hiroto did, because he was no fool. He wanted everything Shou wanted to give him, and he told him that by opening his lips and pushing his tongue toward Shou's.

This, of course, brought about a low, sexy purr from Shou, as he started moving those hands again, this time straight down his back and toward his ass. Hiroto offered no resistance at all as those fingers caressed him, squeezing his sensitive flesh. He arched back into the touch, breaking their kiss as he let out a moan - which gave Shou an opening to start kissing down his neck.

He liked seizing opportunities, after all.

"Aaahh, yes," Hiroto moaned as Shou's lips trailed downward, the older man slowly beginning to drop to his knees as his tongue licked trails of water from his partner's flesh . . . and then ran over the hard bud of a nipple. With a little, carnal sound, Shou opened his mouth wider, enveloping the whole nub and the surrounding pink, lapping at it before sucking.

He felt Hiroto's body tense and heard his cry of need, and Shou just sucked all the harder, his fingers trailing downward again . . . oh, yes, he was fully erect already.

Fortunately, this particular shower was rather large, and had a little bench build at the end of it - for sitting while one washed up with the detachable showerhead, of course, if one wanted to wash in a traditional Japanese style.

Shou, of course, had other uses for it.

Standing up, he took Hiroto's hand in his and guided him over to the seat. Hiroto knew what was coming, of course. He'd been through this before, starting with the night backstage at Bukokan, in a similar type of shower, right after Shou said he loved him for the first time.

_When he grabbed me and hugged me at the end of that show, he was telling me then, wasn't he? He was saying he loved me with actions, even if he couldn't say the words out loud . . ._

But before Hiroto could think very deeply about this, he was sitting on the seat, and Shou was kneeling in front of him, pushing his legs apart. And then there wasn't much coherent thought at all, as Shou's hot, wet tongue began slowly moving up Hiroto's length, flicking against the sensitive area under the head as he opened his eyes, glancing up at Hiroto mischievously.

Those eyes seemed to say to him, do you want me to do it? Do you want me to go further? And all Hiroto could do was to moan in response. Shou's lips opened, and he began to slide down on the shaft, wet heat engulfing Hiroto, causing his body to burn slowly, from the inside out.

Blue Flame, indeed.

Shou liked this particular position for doing this. It allowed him to comfortably slide down on Hiroto much further than he could if they were lying down, taking more and more and more of him into his lips, feeling the harness slide over his tongue. The loud responding moan was all the reward he needed for this, knowing he could make his lover feel good.

He reached up with his fingers, sliding them up Hiroto's body as he started sucking hard, moving his head back up, then pausing to suck hard on the head. And, oh, God, Hiroto made such a delicious noise then, a long, low moan deep in his throat, that Shou thought he was going to come just from the sound alone.

Hiroto was completely lost in bliss then, moaning and moaning as Shou began to move his head faster, his fingers reaching up and caressing his nipple. His hand ran over the damp hair, holding his head in place, and he let out gasps and moans and little whimpers of "Please, oh please . . ."

Please make me come, was the unsaid message. Please relieve this delicious burning ache that you started, please make me cry your name out and explode, please prove to me, again, that I'm yours.

A flick of the tongue in just the right spot, and Hiroto had his wish, raising his hips off the seat and throwing his head back as he nearly screamed Shou's name, the ecstasy pouring and washing through his whole body until he finally fell back, limp and panting.

There was the feel of Shou gathering him in his arms, and he fell forward, against his lover's body, their lips pressing together again. Hiroto's tongue darted forward to experience the now-familiar taste of himself on his lover's lips - but no less thrilling every time it happened.

When the kiss broke, Shou ran his fingers lightly over Hiroto's short hair, kissing his cheeks and nose. Hiroto reached up and stroked Shou's hair back from his face, and they just paused like that for a long moment, not wanting or needing to say anything.  
Then, finally, Shou eased Hiroto down to the shower floor, broke away and hopped up on the seat, another mischievous look in his eyes. "I guess you're going to retaliate now," he said in a teasing tone.

"I might." Hiroto drew himself up so he was kneeling between Shou's legs, in a position where he could stretch up to kiss him, and lean down to . . . well, retaliate. He was going to keep it light for now, though, so he leaned over and brought his mouth to his lover's.

Shou wrapped his arms around Hiroto's shoulders, opening his lips almost instantly - because what he had just been doing just fueled his hunger for the man in front of him. His fingers ran along the length of the guitarist's arms, feeling the firm, developed muscles (no wonder Hiroto didn't wear sleeves in so many photoshoots, their stylists knew that arms like that were not worth hiding).

Hiroto felt Shou's eagerness, but didn't rush things too quickly. He brushed his tongue along Shou's, but didn't look to plunder his mouth. He was going to wait for just the right moment, and then give him a surprise . . .

Shou felt Hiroto's lips move away from his, and he tipped his head back, moaning, encouraging him to kiss his way down his neck. Which Hiroto did, gladly, with a passion the director wished he had gotten from Hiroto when he was kissing the model's neck. (Putting Hiroto in a sexual situation with Shou, though, would have totally negated the concept of the video, not to mention casued heads to explode like New Year's fireworks at PSC).

Shou moaned again as a hot, wet tongue slid up his neck - that erogenous zone of his right next to his vocal cords - and teeth lightly scraped at the skin, making his whole body tremble with need. His fingers left Hiroto's body and gripped the bench, everything wiithin him tensing as he anticipated Hiroto's next move, fully expecting to feel a hot mouth on his nipple . . .

Instead, Hiroto pulled away from him for a second, and then, he felt those teeth nip his stomach, right above his navel. He jumped and let out a little cry. Hiroto nipped at him again, then swirled his tongue around the belly button, looking up at Shou with teasing eyes.

Shou let out a long breath. The world was about to learn, when they saw that video, what he knew all along - that no way in hell was Hiroto as innocent as he seemed.

"Surprise," Hiroto said, before nipping again, his hand sliding up Shou's body to caress a nipple, before giving Shou back his own words in a teasing tone - "There's nothing wrong with a surprise now and then, right?" Apparently not, because the way Shou was moaning, he knew he'd have to do this again - he just may have discovered a new erogenous zone. He started to lick his way further down, his fingers still stroking the hardened bud, brushing back and forth over it lightly.

Shou had his eyes closed, his mouth wide open as his hands moved down to Hiroto's head. "Do it," he moaned. "Do it, lick me, suck me, make me come . . ."

Hiroto wasn't going to give him any surprises this time. When he reached Shou's erection, he began to kiss along it, touching his tongue here and there, feeling the man in front of him shudder in response. He reached the bottom of the shaft, and teased the area where it joined his lover's body with his tongue before licking upward, one long, slow motion. He explored the head when he reached it, swirling around the opening, then moving down the rounded tip. Familiar territory by now, but no less thrilling.

The finger on Shou's nipple continued to caress, sending another wave of hot shivers through his body, as Hiroto's mouth finally started to slide down on Shou's hardness, and down, as far as he could, enveloping him in hot and wet. "Aaaah," he moaned. "Oh, that feels so good . . ."

He began to suck, and to move his head back, and Shou leaned back against the shower wall, an expression of pure bliss on his beautiful face. This was just heaven, feeling loved and cherished and adored, having Hiroto express his feelings in the form of pleasure, of hard sucking and little darts of his tongue in all the right places. . . the polar opposite of the cold loneliness he'd portrayed earlier that day.

He brushed his fingers over the short, blond hair as his lover worked at him, pulling back slowly, sliding his tongue over the head again, then moving back down - letting out a purring hum as he did so. The vibrations went through Shou's cock and resonated across his entire body, making him give out a sharp gasp of "ah!"

"Close," he moaned. "I'm getting so close . . ."

Hiroto answered that by starting to suck faster, teasing him with his tongue a little more, the hand on his nipple taking the bud betwen thumb and forefinger and gently squeezing. That did it, and Shou arched forward, crying out loudly as he began to pour himself into his lover's mouth, hot ecstasy sweeping over him in long, intense pulses.

Finally, he fell back, panting, spent, the room swirling around him, feeling Hiroto's lips gently caress his. He pulled him closer, kissing him back, then buried his face in the juncture of his neck and shoulder, as if he was trying to lose himself in the other man and never let him go. Ever.

"I love you so much," Hiroto murmured, his fingers stroking over Shou's hair, definitely reluctant to let go of him - as if that would make him vanish, like the images of the four of them would vanish around Shou in the final video.

"I love you, too," Shou answered - well, it was mumbled into Hiroto's neck, really. He was still reluctant to raise his head. But even if Hiroto didn't hear, he really didn't have to. He knew.

Finally, Shou raised his head, and the two lovers kissed again, tenderly, tasting themselves on each other's mouths again, an ultimate intimacy between them.

"You'd better wash up before the water gets cold," Hiroto said, softly, brushing the back of his fingers over Shou's face.

Shou took Hiroto's hand and kissed it. "Help me?" he said. "You can wash my back."

"You can wash your own back, you know."

"I know." He kissed the fingers again. "But it's more fun when you do it."

Hiroto sighed. He couldn't refuse Shou anything, of course. All he needed to see was one of those million-megawatt smiles turned in his direction, and he'd dive off Tokyo Tower headfirst if Shou wanted it.

"All right," he said, helping Shou to his feet. "But you have to do it for me, too. I hadn't finished washing when you came in."

"Do you think I'd mind that?" Shou said, reaching for the shower gel. "It's another reason to touch you."

"You don't need one," Hiroto answered, searching the shower floor for the dropped bath puff - and giving Shou a lovely view of his naked bottom in the process.

"I know," Shou said. And as Hiroto stood up, he leaned in for another kiss, a light one this time, and both of them laughed.

Yes, it was definitely as far away from the cold, stark, lonely reality of the video as one could get. Because a Blue Flame had nothing compared to the warm glow of love.


End file.
